Sharing my deepest truth in the form of memoir was scary. There was a giant knot at the base of my neck and shoulders as my publication date neared. There were parts of me that still wanted to stay silent, terrified of what people would think. Those parts still lived in shame and like solid rocks stuck in muddy swamps they did not want to budge. Yet I knew I came here to live this, to write this and share this and so there was no question that I would publish.
What helped to dissipate fear was acknowledging my experience (the microcosm) was a reflection of the macrocosm. And, of course, we all are living expressions of the macro; how could it be otherwise? At the heart of my story is my awakening to the truth: the truth of who I am. Along with this awakening came the realization that I had been living and believing a lie. This distortion of perception affected my thoughts, my behaviors and how I went about living, which was not living at all, but barely surviving. What my fear-filled ashamed parts wanted to tell me was that I was alone in this experience. They whispered to me, “You believed the lie and ruined your life. How could you be so stupid?” I’ve come to know these whispers as liars too.
In fact, I am not alone. The collective is undergoing huge shifts of perception. All the cracks in the armor of illusion are increasing their breadth and reach. Chunks are falling down. It feels topsy turvy— our world a place where up is down and wrong is right. Institutions, information, structures, and people that we once believed in are now being exposed as fraudulent, some straight up evil. There are various entry points to this grand unveiling. Did we once believe that all plastic was being recycled only to find out it wasn’t? Did we once believe our government would protect our health, only to find technologies being released that have not been tested for safety? Did we once believe that smoking wasn’t such a bad idea because after all, even doctors were advertising their support for it? Did we once believe that someone outside of ourselves would solve it because they knew better and they seemed to have good intentions? Did we once believe that sex trafficking was a thing of the past only to find it happening in every neighborhood right under our noses? Did we once believe we had a fair judicial system that would persecute those who committed crimes only to find that the system was bought and paid for by “elite” criminals? Did we once believe our food provided us with nutrients only to find our soil is nutrient-deprived? Did we once believe that fighting a war had some good cause or moral obligation? Did we once believe we had to pay for energy when there is free energy technology available? Did we once believe that the atom has a “solid” nucleus only to find it is not solid at all and that, in fact, we are light beings?
No need to go on. There are too many to list here. The bottom line: in some ways, we’ve all been under a spell. In my book, I call it a curse. We could call it an illusion, a veiling, a distortion or a lie. We could call it programming. We could call it the matrix. No matter what you call it, it is SO exciting for us to be here now in the midst of seeing the lie, awakening to what is, to ourselves and the truth of what we are here to do and be.
To the truth tellers everywhere, I thank you.
To those still waiting in the wings, about to speak, I know how you feel. Step out on stage and into the light anyway. Those rocks do loosen and move fast with free flowing floods of truth! My neck knot has unwound itself significantly and only tingles a little as I wait for you.
What helped to dissipate fear was acknowledging my experience (the microcosm) was a reflection of the macrocosm. And, of course, we all are living expressions of the macro; how could it be otherwise? At the heart of my story is my awakening to the truth: the truth of who I am. Along with this awakening came the realization that I had been living and believing a lie. This distortion of perception affected my thoughts, my behaviors and how I went about living, which was not living at all, but barely surviving. What my fear-filled ashamed parts wanted to tell me was that I was alone in this experience. They whispered to me, “You believed the lie and ruined your life. How could you be so stupid?” I’ve come to know these whispers as liars too.
In fact, I am not alone. The collective is undergoing huge shifts of perception. All the cracks in the armor of illusion are increasing their breadth and reach. Chunks are falling down. It feels topsy turvy— our world a place where up is down and wrong is right. Institutions, information, structures, and people that we once believed in are now being exposed as fraudulent, some straight up evil. There are various entry points to this grand unveiling. Did we once believe that all plastic was being recycled only to find out it wasn’t? Did we once believe our government would protect our health, only to find technologies being released that have not been tested for safety? Did we once believe that smoking wasn’t such a bad idea because after all, even doctors were advertising their support for it? Did we once believe that someone outside of ourselves would solve it because they knew better and they seemed to have good intentions? Did we once believe that sex trafficking was a thing of the past only to find it happening in every neighborhood right under our noses? Did we once believe we had a fair judicial system that would persecute those who committed crimes only to find that the system was bought and paid for by “elite” criminals? Did we once believe our food provided us with nutrients only to find our soil is nutrient-deprived? Did we once believe that fighting a war had some good cause or moral obligation? Did we once believe we had to pay for energy when there is free energy technology available? Did we once believe that the atom has a “solid” nucleus only to find it is not solid at all and that, in fact, we are light beings?
No need to go on. There are too many to list here. The bottom line: in some ways, we’ve all been under a spell. In my book, I call it a curse. We could call it an illusion, a veiling, a distortion or a lie. We could call it programming. We could call it the matrix. No matter what you call it, it is SO exciting for us to be here now in the midst of seeing the lie, awakening to what is, to ourselves and the truth of what we are here to do and be.
To the truth tellers everywhere, I thank you.
To those still waiting in the wings, about to speak, I know how you feel. Step out on stage and into the light anyway. Those rocks do loosen and move fast with free flowing floods of truth! My neck knot has unwound itself significantly and only tingles a little as I wait for you.
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