There once was a woman who was the healthiest woman in all the land. She ate organic kale every day. She had her shot of wheatgrass. She juiced every morning. She never ate red meat. She only ate the white of her free range, organic egg. Then, when they said it was beneficial to eat the yellow, she ate the yellow. Then she gave up eggs all together because you never did know what those free ranging eggs got into.
She steamed her veggies. Then, she ate them raw. She drank 3.25 liters of filtered water everyday from glass jars. No coffee. No sugar. No chemical preservatives. No GMO. No saturated fats. No hydrogenated fat. No trans fat. Just one fat avocado per week.
Midday, she ate salads. Every night, she ate raw veggies. Every morning, she pooped a kale-green poop.
She went to every health conference and read every health book. When it was time for the Pescetarian diet, she went Pescetarian. When it was time for the Paleo diet, she went Paleo. When it was time to be vegan, she went vegan. When it was time to be Macrobiotic, she went Macro. When it all got too expensive, she went micro.
She went to her health screening, as she did every year. It was her favorite day of the year. She loved to hear about her low cholesterol. She loved to hear about her low blood pressure. And she especially loved to hear about her low body fat percentage. She smiled as the doctor told her all about her perfect numbers and she couldn’t wait to tell all of her friends. She began to gather her things and be on her way.
“Wait,” said the doctor. “There is just one more thing.”
“What is it?” she asked, glowing with eager anticipation. She thought there was one more perfect number.
“You have cancer.”
“What? How could that be? I’ve done everything perfectly! Cancer is not possible!”
“Well you have it. It is right here and here and here.” The doctor pointed to her CT Scans and her MRIs indicating the little black dots right there and there and there.
She stomped out of the doctor’s office and went food shopping. She bought Twinkies and Ring Dings and Burgers and French Fries and a Dairy Queen Frosty Chocolaty Shake. She came home and ate it all.
“All that healthy eating was for nothing!” she grumbled.
High on sugar, she began to hallucinate. She saw spiraling chocolate and vanilla cones. She saw dancing Milky Ways and singing BLTs. Maybe she was dying. Then down from the sky, a little angel came and fluttered its wings right before her very eyes.
“Am I dead?” the healthiest woman asked.
“No, not yet,” said the angel.
“Why do I have cancer when I did everything right?”
“There are no guarantees. Death comes to all eventually.”
“But I had perfect numbers!”
“Yes, you did. But cancer can grow in places where you didn’t speak out. Cancer can be in the parts of you where there is anger still bottled up and locked away. And sometimes cancer just happens.”
These words were quite a shock for the healthiest woman. She woke up. She felt the areas of cancer. There were cancer cells marking a time she had said “yes” when she wanted to say “NO!” And there! Yes, right there was a black lump to mark when she stayed silent when she should have screamed out. She opened her mouth wide and years of “No!”poured out . Then she let out another cry, an offering to the unknown. And the cry went on and on and on throughout all space and time. And when she was done with that cry, she called her friends to tell them the good news.